September 11, 2013

Christian Living: Hi, Hater!

I've never been too keen on labeling people as "haters". I feel like too many people seem to get excited about having an army of haters. I personally don't want to have haters. If I have haters, I'd rather not know who they are. Haters breed drama and I have a tendency to retreat in situations of drama. Some people need drama to thrive. I am not one of them. When I hear of people who "brag about having haters", their "complaints" run the gamut. Here are a few:

"People be hatin' on me so I must be doing something right."
"People be hatin' on me cause they jealous."
"People be hatin' on me cause they can't be me."

**Please excuse the intentional usage of ebonics for this post. 

It sounds super obnoxious to me. Why focus so much on the hate? I guarantee you most people aren't even thinking of you to hate on you. As a matter of fact, most people are too busy thinking of themselves and their own image. That is truth.  However, I'm beginning to realize there is some validity to those statements. I'll swallow the humble pie this time. :)

Sometimes, people are hating on you because you are doing something right. It's difficult to get up every morning and make the mental decision to do the right thing and live a life of integrity. It's easy to be hateful, spiteful, jealous, back-stabbing, and careless with our words. It takes discipline to turn the other cheek, pursue Christ, be dedicated to a job you may not like or endure a situation that is less than ideal. When you make the decision to become better, it will turn some people off. Your mere presence might serve as a rebuke to what they aren't. So as a result, they hate.

Sometimes, people are hating on you because they are jealous. I have struggled with jealousy when I see women with their mothers and they have beautiful relationships. It's not that I wish they didn't have good relationships. I think it's really beautiful. It just makes me really sad because I don't have that anymore because my mom passed away when I was younger. It's something I have to deal with internally. I can't push that off on anyone else. Whatever a person may lack and see in someone else could be a stimulus for jealousy. It's a matter of connecting back to Christ and finding the beauty in the position He's placed you in. People will see your beautiful appearance, spirit, life, children, spouse, car, home, career, spirituality, talents, etc. They want it and they don't have it. So as a result, they hate.

Sometimes, people are jealous because they can't be you. It'd be really strange to hear someone say, "you're mad because you can't be me." As crazy as it sounds, it's actually true. Some people are really upset that they weren't created to be you. There's something about that "grass seems greener" that really trips people out. Sometimes the grass really is greener. That's because the owners water it. Focus on building up yourself and tend to the life God has given you. However, that takes work, sacrifice and vulnerability. Folks don't want to do that. So as a result, they hate.

What can you do?

Are you the victim?
- If you've been the target of someone's hatred, be prayerful. Honestly, pray for them because their hatred is coming from a place of hurt. Hurt people hurt people. I would also be careful how much time you spend with them. I've been in situations where I wanted to prove to haters why they had no reason to hate. I wanted them to know how much I really just wanted things to be peaceful and for us all to get along. Yeah, no. That's not happening. When a person has made up their mind about disliking/hurting you, there's nothing you in your own strength can do to make them like you. Lay them at Jesus' feet in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to do a number on their heart. Don't give them more opportunities to hurt you. That's sadistic.

Are you the hater?
- Recognize it. It could show itself in different ways. Do you envy others? Do you talk badly about them behind their backs? Do you defend them when others aren't around? Do you look for reasons to dislike a person? Have you felt rejected by someone and as a result, feel the need to retaliate? Don't be that person. Don't be a hater. Once you've recognized the hate, pray and ask God to remove it. He can do it. I had a situation where a young woman was intentionally mean to me. As a result, I developed a strong dislike for her. Anytime I saw her enjoying life, laughing or having fun, I'd get annoyed because I wanted her to feel as miserable as she succeeded in making me feel. Guess who became the hater in the end? ME!  Never allow yourself to stoop so low as to hate someone else. It really hurts when someone has done you wrong and you want to retaliate. Don't. Refer to this post for what God says on retaliation. 

Most of us, if not all of us, have been hated on and been the hater at some point in our lives. Let's do our best to get rid of the hatred and just spread more love.


  1. Great post. I have often had the same sentiments when I hear people brag about having haters.

    1. Thank you! :) We're totally on the same page! LOL!

  2. I love this! And I love that you're posting again! I have alot of material to go back and read!! Keep it up!

    1. Thank you so much, Kenda! You've always been so supportive. I really appreciate your encouragement!