the validity of validation

Photo c/o: Tumblr

So, I'm a fan of Oprah. Yes, I'm admitting it. I really appreciate her story and also her perspective on life. She has to be one of the most open-minded individuals to be able to interview all of the different people she's interviewed. Drug addicts, murderers, pastors, and artists: she treats them with the same amount of respect and genuinely wants their stories to be heard to enlighten others. One of the most powerful thoughts she continues to share is that we all just want to be heard and validated. We all just want someone to make us feel as if there is value to what we say and/or feel. Next time you're in a conversation with someone who is sharing something important to them, listen. Listen to what they're truly saying. If you don't understand, ask them to clarify. If that doesn't work, just be there. On top of that, validate them. You don't have to agree with what they're doing but validating someone is simply acknowledging the true presence of something whether it be a idea or an emotion. It can make a world of difference in a person's heart.
Just a thought.

mon{diy}day: me

Dear Jesus,

You're probably thinking, "Hmmm. That's odd. How is she going to d.i.y. herself?" I'm glad you asked.
Well, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday weren't the greatest for me. Each night was fantastic (random) but the morning and afternoon were really tough on each day.  I've been pretty unsettled about a couple things that have happened to me personally and professionally. So I try to feed myself as many positive and encouraging words as possible when I'm down. I've been listening to sermons, talking to Holy Spirit-filled people, reading the Word and have been in constant communication with God. If you're going through a tough time in life, you may feel like you've got to "do it yourself" with your life. However, there is a Higher power greater than your own who is ready to help if you ask.  In the beginning of the weekend, I felt as if everything came down on me like a ton of bricks. Every issue, that I've been dealing with, reared it's extremely ugly head one by one as the weekend continued. I sank into the mindset that things would never change and that there was no reason for me to even try to change things. I told myself that even though I wanted to believe and trust God to do miracles in my life, I needed to understand that it probably wouldn't happen. As I talked to God, I expressed my disappointment and frustration. One of the sermons I had the opportunity to listen to was entitled "There is Hope For Your Future" by Pastor Rene Schlaepfer of Twin Lakes Church in Santa Cruz, California. I came across the video in a Google Search. I took down some notes to share from the sermon that really resonated with me.I'm a work in progress but this sermon encouraged me to get back up and start again. We get knocked down in life but you have to get back up and keep moving (even it means starting over). So below are the notes that I took as well as the vimeo link to one of the sermons I watched. I hope they serve as encouragement to you if you're going through a situation that feels unbearable. You can make it!

1. Refocus on God! Take time for the following steps:

    - Mourning:Expressing your hurt to God

    - Fasting: Focusing your heart to God

    - Praying: Asking for help from God

2. Risk a first step. 
    - After a crisis hits, we're naturally afraid to make a first move in fear of falling again. 
      Trust God and move forward. 

3. Ready myself for progress.

  - Imagine solutions.

 (Ex. People will ask what they can do to help. Be prepared with an answer)

  - Worry focuses on what you'll do if the answer is no. 

  - Faith focuses on what you'll do if the answer is yes. 

4. Review the problem.

  - It cuts the problem down to a manageable size.

  - It renews a sense of personal responsibility.

  - It helps me see the immediate need.

5. Request help. 

http://vimeo.com/26373783

start living today!!

 

Photo c/o: Tumblr

   Can you believe that we're at the end of September already? Wow! It feels like just yesterday I was talking about expanding your lane and pursuing your passions. That was Sept 2nd. Now, we're at the culminating day of one of the best months of my life. It was life-changing and soul-stirring; filled with triumphs & setbacks and I needed each one. One of my New Year's resolutions was to leave US soil and visit other countries. This was the month that I was able to experience three; three unique countries that opened my eyes, heart, and mind to how different the world is for every individual based on what decisions they choose to make. 

   This was also the month that I was able to experience God in a way I've never experienced before. My church led a two week campaign promoting Christ entitled Lifted. 113 souls dedicated their lives to Christ through baptism. God allowed me a front row seat. He showed me how much people REALLY need the Lord and how badly the world is waiting on people like me, who know God, to share my knowledge and experience of Him. 

   This month was also the first month that I really committed to blogging in a long time. I've been blogging since 2008 and it's something I really enjoy. I am a girl who loves to create editorial content (I was a Journalism major for crying out loud) and have always been excited about so many projects that I've never made the time to do. That stopped this month.

   I'm not sure if you noticed but I've mentioned the phrase "this month" quite a few times. When I say "this month", I'm talking about the present. Are you actively seizing the day and becoming the person who you've always wanted to be NOW? If not, why not? What are you waiting for? As the picture clearly (and beautifully) states, "tomorrow isn't guaranteed".   In my opinion, one of the thought patterns that messes so many of us up is the "I've got to get it done on my own". We think that so much to the point that we totally miss the point. Not clear? Okay, I'm reminded of one of my friends. I love him dearly but we rarely talk. Mind you, the lack of communication isn't because of a falling out. The reason is because his phone is always dead. Everytime I call, there's no ringtone. It just goes straight to voicemail. He'll joke around about it but the fact that it's taken a toll on our friendship is no laughing matter. Why work hard for a paycheck, pay the phone bill only to never use the phone because it's never charged up? It's not like it's something out of his control. HE can do it. He just doesn't take the time to make that extra step that would make a world of difference for his now dwindling circle of friends. I sometimes get frustrated at the thought of him and his cell phone woes and then it hit me. How many times do we do that with God?

    He's given us diverse gifts, talents, interests, and quirks. That desire to travel the world or open your own business; who do you think could've planted that seed within you? We try to work so hard in our strength and then we don't truly plug into the source of it all: Jesus Christ.  So by the time we're done working and paying our "dues", we don't have the mental capacity to even remember to plug ourselves up to the source. So our works end up being TOTALLY in vain and we miss out on going from  emotional/spiritual death to emotional/spiritual abundant life, stamina, power, and fulfillment. Why try to do everything in your own strength when there is someone who want to help you? John 10:10 (New Living Translation) says that "[His] purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." Now, how do you plug into the source? Let's start with three steps: 

1. Talk to God- When you wake up in the morning, say hi! Thank Him for another day of life. Talk to Him about what's on your heart. You can do this through writing a letter to Him. A lot of people do this and call them prayer journals. You don't have to mail these letters though. He actually has seen the words before you wrote them down. Cool, uh? Or you can whisper to Him or just have a mental dialogue with Him. 

2. Learn about God- When you have a friendship, it's important to get to know the other person right? Well, He already knows about you so it's your turn to get to know Him. How do you get to know Him? Read the Bible. Now before you say "it's boring and I don't want to", hear me out. Even if it's just a verse or a couple chapters, read a little about Him every day. Or listen to a devotional thought talking about Him to get to know Him. Our Daily Bread and My Utmost for His Highest are some of my favorites. 

3. Trust God- This is one a lot of people struggle with but it's the key to living freely. When you really trust someone, that eliminates fear, doubt, worry and stress. God is the ultimate One to trust. For many, it's a work in progress but it's definitely worthwhile for all. 

(Steps 1 & 2 should be done in the morning but can be repeated at bedtime. 

It's always nice to sleep with Him on your mind)

   There's a saying that we teach what we need to learn. That saying is applicable in this situation. I love God. I love learning about God. I love talking to God. I love being able to trust God. I just need to do all three a whole lot more. We'll grow together but actively pursue God now! Don't spend your life waiting for your life to start. After all, tomorrow isn't guaranteed. 

dreams demure [#3]

"A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to prove you're a lady." -Edith Head

You just don't see a lot of modest fashion nowadays. It's out there though. Perhaps a weekly reminder might help. Keep in mind that body proportions play a HUGE role in what's okay/not okay for each individual. Here's my interpretation of how individual style is executed well while still being modest. I may not wear each and every style shown but I can def. respect the brainchild behind each look:

Photos c/o: Tumblr, Karla's Closet, Flare Fashion, Topshop, Atlantic-Pacific, WWD.com, Waynetippetts.com

It's the Simple Things (Gratitude PhotoJournal):

1. Okay, so I totally borrowed this idea from my local Anthropologie but who hasn't? :) Actually, I've seen a lot of Anthropologie stores with this same "candle in the sand" concept. I loved this Soap and Paper Factory candle so much! It's called Bella and it's a mix of bergamot, grapefruit and black pepper. It's very exotic!  But, there's just something about seeing a candle burning and smelling the sweet scents that puts me in relaxation mode.

2. Ever since I can remember, I've been a magazine fanatic. I even considered getting a Master's in Magazine Journalism at NYU at one point. I love editorial content. I love reading the different articles and seeing how diverse and layered a monthly issue can be. For the majority of this year, work has been all I've had energy for. So I literally had stacks of magazines still in their plastic packages. I finally carved out some time to work through them. Now I have two more (that I know of) at the top of the stack to go through. Yay!!! It's so important to make time for those simple pleasures like perusing through favorite magazines!

3. These gladiator sandals are the most beautiful cobalt blue AND *drumroll please*.....they are SCENTED!!!! I've never heard of scented sandals until I purchased these earlier in the spring. **Warning! I'm about to get sentimental. The scent is reminiscent of the many baby dolls I played with as a little kid. It's so weird but my sensory memory transported me straight to the early 90s when I played with dolls. It made me appreciate the blessings I had as a child. I didn't have to worry about where my next meal was coming from. I had sisters and dolls to have fun with. I had an innocent childhood. I hope to give the same to kids of my own someday.

4. "If you use what little you may have to serve the Lord with all your heart, you will find that He can do great things when you begin to do your part." -Sper.  That's what my handwriting says just in case you can't read it :) I got some news two days ago that was a little upsetting but I decided to actively let God handle it. I felt Him saying that He would take care of it but there were some things I could do to. The next morning, I read  this devotion which further confirmed what I believed the Lord was saying to me. I'm so grateful for God and His lovely way of giving me confirmation.

Chef Boyar-DANI:Homemade Tortilla Chips and Guacamole

 I was able to get my hands on some yummy guacamole in Costa Maya, Mexico three weeks ago. It left such an impression on me that I've decided to keep trying different guacamole recipes until I get it right. I'll have to try this recipe again with white onions. I only had red onions in the fridge so I want to see the difference the white onions will make. Both the tortilla chips and guacamole recipes were simple and extremely tasty. My appetite has been very funny lately so I gave the majority of it to my dad because I just wasn't hungry. Needless to say, he devoured it! By the time, I came to give him more leftover chips, the guac was gone! :)

mon{diy}day: pencil holder

A couple weeks ago, I saw this pencil holder on Fly, one of my favorite blogs. Cute, right? Now, I'm not knocking anyone's hustle but $9.50 is $8.50 more than I'd like to spend on a pencil holder *shrug*. So, I decided to make my own. Yes, it's super DIY and I love it! It makes me happy when I see it on my desk.