Worry Warts: The Conclusion of Matthew 6

(25)"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? (26)Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add on cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing?
Consider the lillies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
- Matthew 6:25-34 Taken from the New King James Version

So today marks the conclusion of the Matthew 6 series. What a journey/blessing it's been! I have no doubt that God wanted me to study Matthew 6 for such a time as this.

What to take home from this message:

• Work hard. Do what you can. Leave the rest to God. 

I once heard a preacher say to work as if prayer as nothing to do with it and pray as if work has nothing to do with it. Work hard. Pray even harder. Sometimes, God really is looking at us to take some initiative. While these verses are encouraging us to lean on Him, let's not forget to work hard and be diligent. Excellence in our work honors the God we serve. Don't be lazy and expect Him to do the things He's given you strength to get up and do yourself. 

• Trust God to take care of you and provide provisions. 

Once you've done all you can and you've put it in His hands, leave it there. Oftentimes, we put our problems into God's hands and then take them right back out. Imagine wearing a designer garment and getting a snag in the fabric. The actual designer of the garment tells you that she can fix it for free. You give it to her but then decide to take it back because, even though you can't sew,  you'll figure out a quicker way to do it. It's absurd. That's exactly how we treat God. 

• Remember that God can really hook you up. Whatever the desire is, just know that He won't play you. 

Your worry may not be "what am I going to eat?" or "what am I going to wear?" Your worry could be, "when am I going to get a raise/job?" "when am I going to find a mate?" Putting these worries in the hands of God can be hard sometimes. We're not always worried that God couldn't find us someone though. Sometimes, we're afraid of WHO God will choose: i.e. a total square. God's not like that though. He knows your taste better than you do. Let Him take care of the picking. Just follow His lead. 

• Stop stressing!!!!

I say that almost every day but I recently found a picture of myself from junior year in college and felt the tears coming. There's something behind that smile that's been long gone. There's nothing like looking at picture of yourself and recognizing that something has changed. I remember when I took the picture and what time in my life I was in. I was dancing a lot that semester in preparation for a student government performance. I was finding my own little niche on campus. Life gets hard but don't let it get you to the place where you don't recognize who you are without stress. Give it to God. Take a dance class. Practice some pilates moves. Lift some weights. Soak in the beauty of nature. Go swing on a swing. Integrate more spontaneity into your life to take the edge off. 

After seeing these old pictures, I've decided that I need to make some changes: change of pace, scenery, weight, food, people, sleep, etc. and return to these pictures. I felt much better back then. Stress will not put me in an early grave. This is my public charge to change myself. 

 

For the Love of Money: Matthew 6:24

Photo c/o:Shutterbug81

"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both."
- Matthew 6:24, The Message Bible

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."
- Matthew 6:24, The King James Version

I felt it necessary to give two versions of this text. I always like the Message translation and how literal it gets but I also wanted to hear from the King James.

I believe we can worship God by being generous with some of the following tools:

• Time- We spend time with God through prayer, reading our Bibles, devotion...
• Talents- Using our talents and spiritual gifts (singing, encouragement, hospitality) with His children
• Money- Returning a faithful tithe and offering, giving to the less fortunate.

I believe we can worship money by generous with some of the following tools:

• Time- We develop an unhealthy obsession of crafting plans to get more money.
• Talents- We devise ways to exploit our talents to get more money. 
• Money- We become hoarders of money who totally ignore those who are in dire need.  

Our society is all about materialism. When I think of the rapper 50 Cent, I think of the slogan he used. He encouraged his fans to get rich or die trying. Money is easily seen as the god in this instance. However, what about success? For a lot of people, success is equated with lots of money. Some may deny it but it's true. You're not just being successful to be successful. You want the fruits of what you consider success and oftentimes, the main fruit is money. There's nothing wrong with wanting success or even wanting money but when it becomes the thing you put before God, then you have a problem.  I can't tell you how many motivational videos I've seen where, on the surface, they look and sound great. However, don't be deceived. There is a danger with some of the videos and the mindset of "success" obsession that's encouraged.

My problem is that I've seen quite a few motivational videos that encourage a lack of sleep. When you're trying to motivate people to live the life they've dreamed of, violating health principles shouldn't be a part of the mix. Our bodies need sleep. You can still be successful and get to sleep at night. Granted, some nights may be filled with more sleep than others. However, this whole "I don't sleep and that's why I'm successful" business is beyond me. It's another way of creating an idol of success. When there is lack of sleep, there is lack of judgement. How can you possibly think straight? God isn't glorified in that. I welcome someone to prove me wrong on this one...really. I love the hustle. I think it's beautiful to see people work hard and achieve their dreams. I am doing that myself. However, I have seen too many people be successful in their own right and get plenty of sleep to know that the "no sleep" logic is off. With that being said, what I've said unfortunately doesn't apply with the entertainment industry.  It seems as if that industry is built for people not to sleep. I don't agree with it but that's the only industry that I can honestly say that in order for you to be the average standard of "success", you're not getting any sleep.I could be wrong and/or you could be the pioneer in the industry that gets sleep. I pray it's the latter.

 One of my close friends in college is one of the smartest people I know. She was 2nd in our graduating class. She was a Finance major with a minor in Spanish. During our senior year, she was in leadership roles, had a part-time tutoring gig, carried a full class load, was planning her wedding, studying for the LSATs and applying to law schools. How and when did she get sleep you ask? She would go to bed early (think 8pm) and wake up early in the morning (think 4-6 am). She always said that her mind was most clear and able to comprehend more in the morning. Her dedication to God and hard work paid off but she didn't have to sacrifice her sleep to miss out on her own success. Understand that the sleep conversation was to point back to success and money. They're all connected.

The reason why a lot of us love money so much is because we look at it to solve our problems. I am guilty of this. When I look at each issue I have, I feel like the solution is money. Even as I type this, I'm being rebuked. God is the solution. God can work out situations in ways that money can't. He doesn't need money to bless us. A friend once reminded me to stop looking at my issues as problems that would never be able to be solved simply because of my lack of money. I'm looking at the wrong thing to fix the equation. After I've done all I can do in His strength, I need to leave it to God. He knows our needs. He answers prayers. 

Money cannot save us. If we put money in the position to save us, we will be lost. 

#helpusLord

Amen. 

Wonder[ful] Belief- What Matthew 6:22-23 Teaches Me

Photo c/o: Anastasia Volkova Photography

(22-23)"Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!"
- Taken from the Message Bible (Matthew 6:22-24)

Matthew 6 is not an easy chapter to swallow, I will admit. However, I'm learning some serious lessons through it and I know that it's been a blessing straight from God to study.
Today, I'll be sharing from a personal experience.
A couple days ago, I shared a vlog entry about being thankful and grateful. I was so excited (and still am) about the message that my pastor shared on Sabbath about being grateful. I took that sermon and applied it to having real joy and haven't looked back. It was funny because not too long after I made that video, I started to get ready for work that afternoon. While I was getting dressed, I remembered that I'd have to pack a lunch/dinner for the amount of time I'd be at the office.  The thought of preparing a lunch/dinner sounded so cumbersome. I really didn't want to spend that time in the kitchen. The night before, I was craving pizza and it was still a craving at that moment. So, I decided that I'd have the pizza. Before you judge, it's actually a small enough pizza for one person's servings for lunch and dinner :) I ordered it and then finished getting ready so that I could pick it up and go to work.

While in the car, I thought about my weight and that I was on my way to get pizza. My weight has been something I've struggled with for so many reasons but to be honest, I've gotten to a place where I really feel "defeated". So I started to think about what I'd do if anyone ever asked me if I was pregnant. I'm on this "be thankful for everything" tip so I really was searching for ways to turn it into a positive. Here's what I came up with:

"Why thank you!!! You think that I look like I could be a giver of life! What an honor!" 

"Thank you for the reminder that my health is my wealth and belly fat is a stepping stone to fatal disease. This was a good reminder! God bless you!"

The more I thought of those comments, I laughed harder and harder at myself. I was so tickled that I was beginning to turn the negatives into positives. I really do need to lose weight but I don't need to get depressed about it. So as I headed into the pizza place, I placed my mind back into the thankful and light-hearted place. I guess it showed on my face because when I walked in, the first guy I laid eyes on smiled back at me and came toward the register to help me. He was so cute too :) So, I pulled out the debit card to pay him and he was having trouble with it. I knew it wasn't me so I didn't even begin to worry. I was mentally reminding myself to not buy Sprite and settle for the water in my car (healthy choices! I am trying!). He then told me that something was wrong with the machine and that it would take 10-15 minutes for them to make my transaction. I was prepared to wait and he then told me that the pizza was free. I was happy to hear that. What would've been $6 and change ended up staying in my pocket. Yay! Since then, there were a couple "negative" issues but because of a change in perspective, those negatives are literally water off a duck's back. This isn't to say that life is easy like Sunday morning but once you're in a position of gratitude with open eyes and open heart to see the world through the lenses of joy, good things present themselves! 

This is how I believe verses 22 and 23 apply to life as I've known it the past couple days. :)

What these verses teach us about life:

Open your eyes in wonder and belief. We don't want any dark cellar-type Christians!

a. Wonder: (This may be too literal but this is what I understand it to mean) I had a friend once challenge me to ask God questions when I'm in tricky situations. One of the main questions I am supposed to ask is, "God, how can you be glorified in this situation?" Then follow-ups could include: "God, I am wondering how to see the positive. I'm wondering how do I see you in the midst of this. I am wondering where to find you. That's wonder, right? haha. Or it could be wonder like awe i.e. "I am in awe of you, God and the opportunities you've created for me to trust you more!" Man, talk about spiritual maturity! Whoooo!!!

b. Belief- This is a chance for you to actively trust God and have faith that He's got you. Instead of           stepping into each moment with fear and anxiety, mentally train yourself to understand that God will not put more on you than you can bear. You're equipped to handle any situation with Him on your side. Know that and believe it!

Let me remind you that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us! Phil. 4.13. 

Amen. 

It's the Simple Things (Gratitude Photojournal):

In December 2010, I told the Lord about my desire for more travel. By that point, I hadn't been on a vacation in over 5 years. Crazy, uh? Over the years, I figured out different ways to be resourceful and  unwind since I didn't have enough money to go on a dream vacation. For example, sometimes when I've had a long day, I have a YouTube clip of beach waves hitting the shore and it does an excellent job of helping me drift off to la la land. It's not quite the same as actually being on a beach though. 

So, my love for the beach/water is a little apparent in this post :) I like getting messy in the sand (sand scrubs are the BEST exfoliators), relaxing in the water, swimming, pretending I know how to float, etc. The first vacation I went on this year was a group vacation. I think I spent more time in the water than every person on that trip. I just LOVE the water. If I had a waterproof case for my iPod, I think I would've let the ship leave me in one of the ports (ok, not really but you get what I mean). I'm someone who really soaks in my alone time. I actually need it more than the average person. It's not that I don't like people but some people get their energy from being around people all the time. I get my energy from being alone for (what may seem to some) a long time. I'm not quite sure how that will balance out once I'm married with kids but we'll see. So, all of these pictures were taken this year and the pictures include me and a body of water. I had the opportunity to visit Honduras, Belize, Costa Maya & Cozumel, Mexico. God truly blessed and answered a prayer that I had. On top of that, He gave me another special mini-vacation treat. I got to visit friends in Miami, FL two weeks ago and experienced more beach, palm trees, sand, and sunny weather. It was a welcomed treat since Maryland, at the time, had a temperature of 34 degrees the day I left for Miami. Blessings!!

God knows the desires of our hearts and while we need to be sure to share them with Him, don't get caught up in them. Instead of looking at God as tyrant in the sky who constantly wants to punish us and/or  a Santa Claus who is supposed to give us everything we want, look at Him as a really really awesome dad. That's what He is. He'll give correction when necessary but more than anything, He loves us and really wants to see that we get to spend eternity with Him. After all, He's prepared a place so special just for US! God delights in spoiling me. I'm his little princess :) I take joy in that and I also am extremely grateful and thankful! God, you're amazing! Thank you.

Vlog #2- Be Thankful!

Hi, guys! I posted this on FB yesterday but figured I should put it on the blog today! Vlog #2! Enjoy!

Prayer Pleasing [Part 1]

Photo c/o:Lacy Abercrombie Photography

There's a clip on YouTube of Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) sharing how her creative process goes. Essentially, she has to make sure the chaos is blocked off so that she can work in quiet and allow creativity to flow. She also wakes up early in the morning. Now, let me tell you! I've longed to become a morning person since college. Whenever I wake up and do an early devotion, I feel so at peace and more prepared to take on the world. My thoughts flow so much better. It's as if the world is still sleeping while God and I have our quiet time. It's beautiful. However, the early morning sessions don't happen nearly as much as I wish they would.

* * *

In the second installation of the Matthew 6 series (check out the first one here), let's take a closer look at prayer. Matthew 6:5-13 show how God feels about our prayers to Him (pt.1) and He also teaches us how to pray (pt. 2 that I'll share tomorrow). Prayer is the direct connection to God, allowing us to share cares and concerns with Him. You don't have to be prostrate or in a kneeling position to pray either. There are many times when I'm driving, sitting at my desk at work, or laying in bed while in communication with God. Prayer is simply a conversation. 

I have a friend who once shared that God helps her pick out clothes sometimes. I looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. She proceeded to explain an instance where she literally didn't know what to wear. She felt God showing her the right outfit but she kept trying on other stuff and feeling unsatisfied. Eventually, she went back to what she heard God telling her to wear. As she headed out the door, she felt the Lord tell her to grab a sweater. She thought that was a bit extra but grabbed the sweater  anyway and headed out the door. Come to find out, she ended up needing the sweater and wouldn't have thought to bring it if God hadn't told her. God speaks to us in different ways but we need to have the channel of communication - prayer- constantly open. Here's what Matthew 6: 5-13 (The Message Version) has to say about prayer: 

"And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. (7) The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. "

Prayers in corporate worship can be very interesting. Some people pray with words so big that it's honestly difficult to say amen at the end because I have no idea what the prayer was for!!  It's almost as if some Christians are at higher rankings than others based on how many oversized words can fit in their vernacular. Expand your vocabulary. It's a beautiful skill. However, it's important to remember who we are truly speaking and as learned in verses 1-4, He is not fooled by our show. It's not about how much you say "Father God" in one sentence of your public prayer. How often do you commune with the Father God when you're in private?

My mother used to wake up early and go into the laundry room for devotion. She loved heat and the laundry room was the warmest place in the house. It also had a nice couch for her to be comfortable. It was that early morning time which she used in order to pray and be alone with God for a couple hours. You don't have to wake up and commune with God for hours on end. If what you have is 15 minutes to pray and meditate on a verse, be faithful with that. As your relationship grows, you'll yearn to make more time to spend with Him. But God says keep it simple. 

* * * 

I knew someone who used to memorize verses in her devotion so that she could brag about all the verses she knew. She really believed she was a prayer warrior. Talk about TOTALLY missing the point! Prayer time should be exactly that: prayer time.  It's not the time for you to cram for a bragging session of "Who knows the Bible better than me?" It's about building the relationship. You can't "one up" your peers on how much you know God better. Every person's walk is totally different. Focus on you and God and be vulnerable with Him. Holy water, prosperity songs, a selfish spirit: those are all gimmicks that God deplores. You wouldn't say, "Hey God! I want to pretend like I'm at least associated with you and your power to other Christians so I'm gonna use our hangout time to practice my lines that I'll use when I meet people in the streets." The gimmicks will get you nowhere. The wrong spirit will get you nowhere. There's nothing better than being authentic in your devotion time with God. Be real with God. There are times when I'm on shaky ground and am totally confused as to what God is doing. There are times when I'm furious with God. I tell Him. He knows my heart and he knows that I'm not trying to be disrespectful. Even though I'm feeling hurt by Him, I still would like to keep the line of communication open. Some Christians might disagree with that approach but God says to come as you are.  So I do *shrug*. 

So, remember: 

1. Stop the theatrics and gimmicks. They're a huge turn-off to God. 

2. Find time to be alone with Him.

3. Even when you're not alone, you can still keep the line open. Pray without ceasing. 

4. Be authentic and vulnerable within the relationship. 

Pt. 2 of this lesson will pick up tomorrow with the Lord's prayer. The Lord's Prayer needs it's own post :)

When do you communicate with God the most? Do you have a certain time of day when you prefer to have alone time with Him? 

vlog#1

Hi, guys!!! It's been a crazy week so I haven't been able to do any cooking or DIY projects. Bummer :(
But, I've had some things on my heart that I felt impressed to share (which I've been doing this week).
So, this is a video that I really hope encourages someone out there. Thanks to all who continue to stop by and read the blog. It means a lot that you've taken interest! :)
Have a great day! :)

mon{diy}day: me

Dear Jesus,

You're probably thinking, "Hmmm. That's odd. How is she going to d.i.y. herself?" I'm glad you asked.
Well, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday weren't the greatest for me. Each night was fantastic (random) but the morning and afternoon were really tough on each day.  I've been pretty unsettled about a couple things that have happened to me personally and professionally. So I try to feed myself as many positive and encouraging words as possible when I'm down. I've been listening to sermons, talking to Holy Spirit-filled people, reading the Word and have been in constant communication with God. If you're going through a tough time in life, you may feel like you've got to "do it yourself" with your life. However, there is a Higher power greater than your own who is ready to help if you ask.  In the beginning of the weekend, I felt as if everything came down on me like a ton of bricks. Every issue, that I've been dealing with, reared it's extremely ugly head one by one as the weekend continued. I sank into the mindset that things would never change and that there was no reason for me to even try to change things. I told myself that even though I wanted to believe and trust God to do miracles in my life, I needed to understand that it probably wouldn't happen. As I talked to God, I expressed my disappointment and frustration. One of the sermons I had the opportunity to listen to was entitled "There is Hope For Your Future" by Pastor Rene Schlaepfer of Twin Lakes Church in Santa Cruz, California. I came across the video in a Google Search. I took down some notes to share from the sermon that really resonated with me.I'm a work in progress but this sermon encouraged me to get back up and start again. We get knocked down in life but you have to get back up and keep moving (even it means starting over). So below are the notes that I took as well as the vimeo link to one of the sermons I watched. I hope they serve as encouragement to you if you're going through a situation that feels unbearable. You can make it!

1. Refocus on God! Take time for the following steps:

    - Mourning:Expressing your hurt to God

    - Fasting: Focusing your heart to God

    - Praying: Asking for help from God

2. Risk a first step. 
    - After a crisis hits, we're naturally afraid to make a first move in fear of falling again. 
      Trust God and move forward. 

3. Ready myself for progress.

  - Imagine solutions.

 (Ex. People will ask what they can do to help. Be prepared with an answer)

  - Worry focuses on what you'll do if the answer is no. 

  - Faith focuses on what you'll do if the answer is yes. 

4. Review the problem.

  - It cuts the problem down to a manageable size.

  - It renews a sense of personal responsibility.

  - It helps me see the immediate need.

5. Request help. 

http://vimeo.com/26373783

Attitude of Gratitude: Matthew 21:22.

I have chills. The magnitude of God is overwhelming. He sits so high but reaches down so low. He takes care of His children. If you were to ask me to list some of my absolute favorite things that I own, my iPod would would be #3 on that list: my car, my computer and then my iPod. Those three things were gifts from God to make life a lot easier to handle and I don't take them for granted. I lost my iPod two weeks ago and have been feeling out of sorts since then. I felt as if I'd been walking out of the house every day without underwear. 

Even up to a couple hours ago, I was whining to God about the fact that I had no idea where it was. Funny thing was that I had the TV on the OWN channel. Oprah was talking about how much she loved her iPad and how she really wanted it as a part of her favorite things. When Apple said no to the donation of 320 iPads, she was really disappointed but she opted not to pray about it because she didn't want to bother God with something so minute in the grand scheme of life (I'm paraphrasing). When she ended up getting the Apple iPad donation, she felt as if God had given her the okay. I thought that was sweet so I decided to let go my complaints about the iPod. I do believe God cares about the little things but I also believe He is all-knowing and doesn't need me reminding Him every 5 minutes. 

Last night, I was doing laundry. I decided to start with laundry I didn't finish from last week that was at the bottom of the laundry basket. As usual, I started the washer with the detergent and Fabuloso and proceeded to drop clothes in. I wasn't checking pockets for some strange reason. I just fixed my eyes on the darks and worked on getting them in the washer. As I was putting a pair of swishy gym pants in the wash, something heavy in the pants clanked against the washer. At that moment, I let out an audible "Thank you, God!" He KNEW I would've been incredibly angry with myself for washing/ruining my own iPod that was in the dirty clothes the entire time. I'm just so incredibly grateful. Part of the pant leg was already in the washer. I could've easily thrown the entire garment in the washer with perfect aim so that the iPod wouldn't have hit the side. Geez! I'm so grateful. Thank you, God! It's the little things He does that really make me fall more and more in love. He's just so incredibly thoughtful *sigh*!

Forgive Yourself and Move On

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has wondered about the validity of karma in my life. Today was one of those days where I was thinking for hours about what experiences in my life are a result of karma coming on to me. I was doing some reading this morning and it sent me down a treacherous path of thoughts. I had to run a couple errands for work and when I made my first stop,  I couldn't even get out of the car at first. I pulled the key out of the ignition and just let myself cry it out.. There were some painful memories that were resurrected with the reading I did this morning. Somewhere deep down, I had convinced myself that it wasn't okay for me to really enjoy life because of mistakes I'd made years ago. I felt as though the reason why things weren't the way I wanted them now was because I was on punishment. It wasn't until I was driving to the gym that I realized how abusive those thoughts were.  No one was punishing me but me. I repented of my sins. I asked God for forgiveness. It was forgotten by everyone but me. I used my guilt to keep the transgressions alive and around to haunt me. If you've ever felt this way, remember the following: 

• You are GOD's child.He loves you and would never be okay with you living in guilt, fear, or depression(Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) He knows your heart. You can't hide anything from Him. Let Him be there for you.                                              
• Your thoughts are powerful.If you dwell on the negative incidents in your past, you simultaneously ruin the positive experiences that are headed your way. That's self-sabotage. Don't go there. When you start to feel guilty about your past, think of how merciful God is and how He is a God of second chances (or in my case, 30th and 58th chances). Dwell on the positive. Here's a great exercise: When you start to feel the negative energy seep in, think of all the blessings in your life. List them one by one no matter how small they might seem. 
• Understand that NO ONE is perfect. We ALL make mistakes. The important thing is to get back up and keep striving to be a better YOU.
• Never let others make you feel unworthy. I've seen it and experienced it. You fall and get back up yet there are others who see you fall and decide to remind you that you fell and are unworthy of a shot at being a better you. "I know how you are" or "You're not fooling anybody". It's unbelievable the horrible words people will say about you when you're trying to make a change. To get into the reasons of why they'd do it is counter-productive. Just focus on bettering yourself and let God take care of the thorns.